5 Tips on How to Keep Your Child’s Rudeness at Bay

Fighting Rudeness

A clinical psychologist warns that without realizing it, parents are teaching their kids to be rude, adding that even the most polite children will act offensively at times when they unwittingly pick up acrimonious language/behavior from moms or dads in a moment of careless display. Here are tips from on how to keep rudeness at bay.

1. Insist on manners. It may seem old-fashioned, but there’s no better way to help your child make friends and influence people than to teach him good manners. Also, think about the way all of your family members treat each other. Consider all the verbalizations, actions, ignoring, and responses that occur daily in your home. Now how would you feel if your employer, coworkers, neighbors, or friends could see a video of how your family members treat each other? Would it be something that you would be proud of or would it be humiliating and more than a tad embarrassing?

2. Teach the magic words. “Please,” “Thank you,” and “Excuse me” are still the basics of a polite vocabulary, but don’t fall into the trap of believing that just because you remind your kids to use these words that they will do so automatically. As with any habit, it takes consistency to instill a new behavior. Expect your children to need consistent reminders until the magic words become second nature. Discuss with your kids what words you’d like them to use to get your attention — instead of interrupting, say “excuse me.” It’s important for parents to regularly use these respectful words and phrases themselves when interacting with their children — modeling goes a long way toward teaching, reinforcing, and maintaining polite verbiage and behavior.

3. Coach your kids to ask, not demand. Teach them that a request is something that usually is in question form (May I please …), rather than a statement (Give me the …). That’s a safe way of assuring that they’ll be perceived as asking, rather than as demanding.

4. Focus on tone of voice. Do not tolerate gruffness. And teach them volume control as well.

5. Demonstrate compassion and respect. Melinda used to get really mean when a game show contestant couldn’t answer even a simple question. If you think about it, these poor souls put their dignity on the line on public television just to earn a few bucks. And they get laughed at in the process. Not their fault they didn’t have access to good education. Melinda corrects this behavior and teaches her daughter not to follow her.

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