What to Do When A Child Repeats a Grade in School

Logan Randall is a twelve-year-old boy who has been attending the same school since kindergarten. Described by his own parents as willful and intelligent, he was doing quite well until he decided to join the soccer team and from there he found himself on a slippery slope.

Intensive practice sessions cut into his study time and teammates — who were not exactly the kind of friends any parent would approve of — often cooked up post-practice gimmicks that entailed trips to the mall. Soon, Logan’s academic performance on record was in the red.

His parents, who are both working and never really had problems with their son in the beginning, admitted to being complacent. Mom Bess bemoaned, “Logan was always a studious boy. We never had to hire a tutor for him. We never objected to his joining the soccer team because we thought that he can do both studying and engaging in sports all at the same.”

Bess and her husband were summoned by the academic chairman of the school who gave them the bad news: either Logan stays in school and repeats the grade, or he leaves and goes to another school where he could continue to the next level.

After much discussion, a tearful and remorseful Logan chose to repeat fifth grade. He didn’t want to leave the school he loved so much. While his parents supported his decision, there are days when they can’t help but pounce on him and tell him how he could have become so irresponsible.

“I know it hurts him,” said Bess, “but his father and I are really disappointed. My husband said Logan should stiffer the consequences and one of them is to accept being reminded every now and then of his mistakes.”

Reminding or Nagging?
If you’re like Bess who has a child repeating a grade this school year, do consider that there is a thin line between reminding and nagging. The humiliation of returning to school in the same level is already punishment for the student. The ego is fractured. There is the great possibility of being taunted by former classmates and even new classmates. There is the separation anxiety that comes from being away from the old peers. Plainly put, there is much stigma attached to the repeater.

Your Child’s Self-esteem
Helping your repeater is not all about hiring a tutor or grounding him or breathing down his neck during homework time. While these might be the obvious steps parents would take, and understandably so, the child’s self-esteem should also be taken into account. Having to repeat a grade can be murder to one’s ego!

Talk to your child and ask him how he feels. An honest discussion can make him feel better and help all of you come up with ways to handle the situation. Maybe this is the time to let other siblings in the family know that you won’t tolerate them if they make fun of their brother or sister for failing. This should be a time for all-out support. So that even when your child is without his usual privileges —playing computer, going out with friends, etc — he would still feel loved by his family.

Getting on Track
Help your child restructure his study habits like studying every night for twenty to thirty minutes, for example, even if there are no tests the following day. That way, your child doesn’t have to cram when the teacher actually announces a test for the next meeting. Give him a quiet place to study. Be certain that he eats nutritious meals, gets enough sleep, and stays healthy.

Make an effort to have regular dialogues with the teachers. Communicate via the school daily. Ask where your child needs more assistance.

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